


tell my love to wreck it all

by mandyfuckinmilkovich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Fic, mentions of depression, so short i don't even know why i'm posting this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:36:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandyfuckinmilkovich/pseuds/mandyfuckinmilkovich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>five times they miss each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell my love to wreck it all

"I miss you."

His nervousness is palpable and Mickey’s heart clenches right before he remembers where they are, who they are, and he tells him he’ll rip his tongue out. Ian just smiles and Mickey feels the pull, in his mouth, in his legs, in his arms, in his chest. He wishes it wasn’t there, wishes he could make it disappear, but it’s already invisible inside him.

Ian puts a hand on the glass. Mickey almost rolls his eyes.

"Take your hand off the glass."

Ian smiles and looks bashful and Mickey might love him.

//

Ian keeps sucking hickeys into his skin and Mickey grips his hair. He’s been out for like two weeks and it’s been two weeks of fucking and mouths and tongues and Ian bending him over and getting in between his legs. He smells like sweat and come and Ian’s mouth.

Ian sticks a hand down his jeans and grins, looking him in the eye and jacking him off. Confident and tall and red hair. Mickey counts freckles and and spreads his legs. Ian’s grin widens and Mickey feels his stomach clench, wants to hide and wants Ian to never look away from him again.

"I missed you," he says into Mickey’s neck, biting skin and working his hand faster, swallowing Mickey’s moans.

//

The chain link fence rattles and Mickey’s hands grip it harder, puncturing and making him bleed. Ian’s hands are hard and punishing on his hips and he slaps his ass a bit, surprising the fuck out of Mickey, making him laugh and groan loud and deep. He’s missed this, missed him, so much and Ian grips his shoulder, his hair, doesn’t relent, keeps it hard and fast and dirty. He’s glad to be facing the other way, can’t really meet Ian’s eyes yet, thinks maybe Ian can’t look at him yet either, not with how they left it. Not with the guilt still falling between them. Let’s Ian punish him the only way they know how.

Ian mutters something low, something like “Missed you.”

Ian’s hands turn soft and Mickey wonders if it was actually himself that said the words, but then Ian changes his angle and stars explode in his eyes.

//

They’re in their boxers in Ian’s bed and he’s so different. He tells Mickey about the army and the helicopter, making Mickey laugh so damn hard, his back arching off the bed. Ian sings and marches around the room, and Mickey watches him, a small grin on his face, and feeling so happy, so alive, so at home for the first time in months.

Ian flops next to him in bed, starts telling him about work and Monica and he cracks jokes and makes Mickey laugh more.

He watches Mickey, his eyes light, his smile soft and Mickey can’t look away.

"What?" He says after a while.

"Nothing. Just." Ian shrugs, his fingers brushing against Mickey’s hip bones. "Like looking at you."

He waits and Mickey knows he’s waiting, for him to say something, tell him to shut up or fuck off, but he can’t because Mickey likes looking at him too, likes Ian looking at him like this, full of light and not empty like before. Like the other night. Or months ago.

He’s looking at him like this is warm and beautiful and life.

"I missed you," Mickey whispers, his chest quivering out of nervousness but they’re already moving towards each other, that invisible pull so strong and so present in his heart, Mickey thinks Ian can hear it with every beat.

"I missed you too," Ian whispers back and he kisses him, and Mickey promises himself they’ll never have to miss each other again.

//

Ian doesn’t get out of bed for weeks. It smells stale and gross in their room and Mickey opens the window to let the light and fresh air in but Ian pulls the covers or the pillow over his head. He doesn’t want to do anything, doesn’t want to talk to anyone, see anyone, hear anyone, know anyone.

He’s angry and terrified and so alone, he drinks and smokes and hates Ian’s genes and whatever on/off switch is in his head that just decides to flip whenever the fuck it feels like it.

Ian doesn’t smile, doesn’t laugh, doesn’t tell him to shut up, doesn’t tell him he missed him, doesn’t tell him about his family or his job or what he wants.

Ian doesn’t tell him how to do this.

Mickey has never felt so helpless in his entire life.

He lies down beside Ian facing him. Ian stares at him blankly, his eyes trailing over Mickey’s face. The silence stretches between them and Mickey doesn’t know what to do. He’s never wanted to touch someone so much, never wanted to just hold Ian and be able to make something go away. This is something though that can’t be fixed like that. So he tries the last thing, the only thing he’s ever really had.

"I miss you." His chest hurts so much, his heart beats painfully and his eyes sting. He doesn’t know what to do, what to say, but he can say this. He can say what’s true and Ian can know that.

Mickey’s never missed anyone like he misses Ian, never loved anyone the way he loves Ian, and they lie there helplessly in the truth.


End file.
